(A SIMPLE CORNISH LANGUAGE SCENARIO)

(Scene: Four people, A, B, C & D, are seated around a table. On it are various items of food and crockery including drinking glasses, a jug of water and a bottle of tomato sauce. C must be female.)

A.                  (to B) I am very thirsty. Would you please pour some water for me?

Yma syghes meur dhymm. A vynnta dinewi nebes dowr ragov vy?

B            (to A) Of course, please give me your glass.

                Heb dhout, ro dhymm dha wedrenn, mar pleg,

                (The glass is handed over and water poured from the jug.)

A.                 Ah! That’s very sweet. And very cold, too! Thank you.

A! Pur hweg yw henna. Ha lowr yeyn ynwedh. Gonn meur ras dhis sy.

C            To tell you the truth, I’m a bit thirsty, too. May I also have a glass of water?

                Yn hwir, yma nebes syghes dhymmo vy ynwedh. A yllydh dinewi nebes dowr ragov?

D            Me, too. I’m also thirsty.

                Ha my, yma syghes dhymm ynwedh.

B            (Smiling) Very well. Hand me your glasses. There’s a lot of thirst at this table, it seems.

                     Pur dha. Ro dhymm agas gwedrennow. Yma meur a syghes dhe’n voes ma, dell hevel.

A             (rubbing  tummy)And a lot of hunger, too!

                Ha meur a nown keffrys!                

                (They laugh. B. pours the extra glasses of water and all drink.)

D             When will the pasties come? Do you know?

                Pan dheu an pastiow? A wodhesta?

B             I know. The pasties are coming now. I can feel them coming.

                Y hwonn. Lemmyn! An pastiow a dheu lemmyn. Y hallav klywes aga tos.

A & D    (together) Truly? How fine is our world! How fine is our world!

                Dhe wir? Gwynn agan bys! Gwynn agan bys!

(A waiter arrives with plates bearing pasties. He places one in front of each of A, B, C, & D, amid much lip-smacking from A, B & D – but not C, who looks disdainfully at her plate)

A.                   (to B) Please pass me the sauce.

Ro dhymm an sows, mar pleg.

B              (passing the sauce) Are you sure? Sauce on a pasty?! Isn’t that sacrilege?

Sur osta? Sows war basti?! A nyns yw henna disaskrans?

A              (smiling) We’re in Australia now.

Yma nyni yn Ostrali lemmyn.

                  (A, B & D start eating gleefully. C pushes her plate away, looking pained.)

B             (to C, concerned) Are you not well?

                  A nyns osta yagh?

C             No. I am quite well, thank you.

                                Ov. Lowr yagh ov vy.

      B             Well, is there a problem with your pasty?

                                Wel. Eus kudynn gans dha basti?

     C             No. It’s a fine pasty, I’m sure. But ….

                                Nag eus. Pasti teg yw. Sur ov vy anodho. Byttegyns ….

     B                “But …”?

                                “Byttegyns…”?

     C             But ….I don’t like pasties.

                                Byttegyns … ny garav an pastiow.

                                (The cutlery falls from the hands of A, B & D. Astonished, they instantly stop eating.)

     A             (chuckling) Pardon? Pardon!? I thought you said “I don’t like pasties.”

                                Gav dhymm? Gav dhymm!? My a grysis ty dhe leverel “Ny garav an pastiow.”

                                (A, B and D laugh nervously, eyeing C suspiciously)

      C                (defiantly) That’s right! I don’t like pasties!

                                Ewn osta! Ny garav vy an pastiow!

      A, B & D                (together) The horror! The horror!

                                An euthekter! An euthekter!

      B       All of them? All pasties?

                                Oll anedha? Oll an pastiow?       

      C       All

                                Oll.

      B      (menacingly) Are you truly Cornish?

                                Kernowes osta? Yn hwir?

      C       (proudly)  I am.

                                Ov. Yth ov vy Kernowes.

      B        And yet you don’t like pasties?

                                Ha byttele, ny gerydh an pastiow?

      C        I am sure of it.

                                Sur ov vy anodho.

      A & D      She’s a witch! Burn the witch!

                                Gwragh! Gwragh yw hi! Losk an wragh!                    (C looks alarmed)

      B         (laughing)  Don’t be so stupid. This is the twenty first century. We’re civilised now.

Na vedhewgh kemmys gokki. Hemm yw an kynsa kansblydhen warn ugens. Doeth on ni lemmyn.

      C          I am relieved to hear that. I thought they were serious.

                                Difresys ov vy rag klywes henna. My a grysis aga bos diwysek.

      B          No, they were not serious, of course. We don’t burn witches any more. (He pulls out a gun but does not aim it.) We shoot them!

                                Nag ens. Nyns ens i diwysek. Ny leskir namoy an gwraghes. Ni a’s ladh gans gon!

4. Stop it! Don’t kill her! I’ve got a better idea. (Smiles as A & B look at him questioningly) Send her to England! 

                                Hedh e! Na wra hy ladha! Yma dhymm gwella tybyans…

                                 Dannvenyn hi dhe Bow  Sows!

A & B. Agreed. (pointing) Go away, wretch! To England you are banished!               

                                Akordyes. Ke dhe-ves, a ganjones! Dhe Bow Sows divres osta!

C.      (weeping) Alas! Woe is me! To England I go. (leaving) The horror! The horror!

       Eghan! Go-vy! Dhe Bow Sows yth av vy!……An euthekter! An euthekter!